During my sophomore year of college, my life changed. I went from seeing the world one way to a completely new way. It started when I met a few people in this college ministry (aka: a church for college students) called Chi Alpha. They invited me to a church service and I decided to go. This was very unlike me, because I grew up Catholic and only felt comfortable going to mass but, I was at a low point in my life and knew something needed to change. So, I decided to go.

Pretty self-explanatory.

Being a Christian means you live a life of faith. In the comfort of middle class America, many people think that is information in your head and not so much walking into situations where you actually have to trust God to come through. Will He provide? Will I survive? Will He work a miracle? I’ve been the person who likes to create a safety net to catch me if I fall, but with this experience, I couldn’t depend on my myself. Jumping off the edge and going overseas for the first time allowed me to see if God really is who He says He is and I would discover what faith really looks like.

I don’t think about deserts much. I think about forests, mountains, beaches, but not deserts. Probably because...I don’t want to be there. Deserts are hot, uncomfortable, vast, and a place to get easily lost in. What I’m learning, though, is that deserts teach you something. More than that, they form something important in you. There are growing pains in the beginning, especially for those of us living pretty comfortable lifestyles. I never thought it could happen, but I’m moving out of the “Why, God, are you doing this to me?” phase and moving into peace. Slowly. I am nowhere near having arrived to any promised land yet. But, it's a step.

Have you heard of the song, “This One’s For the Girls” by Martina McBride? If you haven’t, pause. I’ve included the video in this post so you can watch and listen right now. Even if you just listen for a minute, the energy in that song will get you ready for this post. Now, when you read the next sentence, you have to sing it in your head to the tune of that song…

This one’s for all you girls/boys who are fixated-on-what-needs-to-be “fixed” in you. You are so hard on yourself and you don’t know what to do.

It probably didn’t sound as sweet or catchy as the original song, but the point is, this article is for you.

I am starting this blog because I am afraid. No, it’s not what you think. I’m not being kidnapped and I’m letting you know where to find me. It’s that I am afraid of failure, and have been throughout my whole life. Which is a bit silly, because I never really failed at anything. That’s the point. When something was challenging to me or I received critique, I would stop doing it. I never wanted to let myself get to a place where I would have “failed” in my eyes or someone else's.