Discerning Your Calling
During my sophomore year of college, my life changed. I went from seeing the world one way to a completely new way. It started when I met a few people in this college ministry (aka: a church for college students) called Chi Alpha. They invited me to a church service and I decided to go. This was very unlike me, because I grew up Catholic and only felt comfortable going to mass but, I was at a low point in my life and knew something needed to change. So, I decided to go.
All I remember from that night was the man who spoke seemed to have truly encountered God and believed He was active in his life. That was…different…to me. The nice people in the group invited me to a retreat that weekend and I said yes. Again, this was very unlike me, but I was curious and they seemed to value me even though we had just met.
A woman spoke to the hundreds of students there about Jesus and what He had done on the cross. For the first time in my life, something clicked. Growing up, I believed “Jesus died for my sins” but I still thought I had to “be good” to be accepted by God. I thought Jesus was disappointed in me for being a sinner and He begrudgingly went to the cross, died a gruesome death, and now wanted me to “be good” to prove to Him I didn’t take this for granted. But this woman said that the whole point of Jesus dying was that we couldn’t be good enough. He freely went to the cross because He wanted to give us new life. He loved us so much, He decided to take on the punishment we deserved and all we had to “do” is put our trust in Him. Then, as we put our trust in Jesus and follow Him, He would transform us to be more like Him.
“I thought Jesus was disappointed in me for being a sinner and He begrudgingly went to the cross, died a gruesome death, and now wanted me to be good to prove to Him I didn’t take this for granted. But this woman said that the whole point of Jesus dying was that we couldn’t be good enough.”
I left that message amazed. I had heard “Jesus died for your sins” throughout my life but never understood the freedom that it brings. The next session was a time of worship (aka: singing songs to God) and we sang this song called, “Lord, I Need You”. While I was listening to that song, I had an image in my mind that looked like a solar system. The system was in chaos and each planet represented an area of my life, like my grades, my family, money, dating, faith, etc. I felt God showing me that my life was like this solar system. Jesus was a part of my life, but because He wasn’t the lens I saw all areas of my life through, my life felt like chaos. If I put Him at the center, like the sun is at the center of our solar system, all the other things would fall into their correct place. It didn’t mean life would be automatically easy, but that I would be living in the way God designed me to live.
This is me the weekend I encountered Jesus and gave my life to Him. On the left is Sierra, my friend and discipler, who I ran out of that chapel to tell what had just happened to me.
While students around me sang together, I had a moment that changed my life forever. I decided to raise my hands (which I had never done before in a church setting), and in my heart, I decided to give my life to Jesus. He would now be the center of my life. I was overwhelmed with joy I had never felt before and sprinted out of that little chapel after the worship time ended because I had to tell someone. It was practically bursting out of me!
Your Primary Calling
You may be wondering, if this article is about calling, why did I spend four paragraphs telling you about how I gave my life to Jesus? It’s because that moment was the foundation for anything I “did for God” moving forward.
Each follower of Jesus has two callings: a primary calling and a secondary calling. Our primary calling is to be with our King, our Father, the Greatest Friend, Jesus. In John 15:5, Jesus says “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” This is why hearing the gospel for the first time was such good news to me. I didn’t have to do something to be loved. I was already loved. Jesus first and most importantly, wanted to be in relationship with me. This is vital for a try-hard to understand because if you run to “do things for God” without first being with Him and experiencing His immense love for you, you will run on empty pretty quickly.
I ran out of that chapel, amazed by the goodness of God, and I left that service knowing what I was made for: to be loved by God and to love Him with my life. That’s it. It didn’t matter where or how I did this, Jesus had so deeply impacted me that I knew wherever I got to do those things, I would have joy and purpose.
“I ran out of that chapel, amazed by the goodness of God, and I left that service knowing what I was made for: to be loved by God and to love Him with my life.”
That meant, my “calling” started right then. I didn’t have to wait until I graduated college or made a big life change to live out my calling. Every moment of your life, whatever season you are in, has purpose if you open your eyes to see where and how you can be a part of God’s marvelous plan to bring His kingdom to Earth.
The truth is we were made to be loved by God and to love God and therefore, love others. This truth frees us from the anxiety-driven tightrope mentality of “there is only perfect calling for my life”. That tightrope turns into a field where there are many good options, ways, and places to be loved and to love!
During my senior year, I decided to be an RA. I had a heart to help freshman have a better college experience than I did my freshman year, when I was lonely and depressed.
God showed me in that season that He could use me to help others encounter His gospel and His kingdom by just being willing to love the people around me. Multiple students saw the love of Christ through me, heard how Jesus transformed my life, and one even became a Christian! 🙌
But, what do I do with my life?
Now that we’ve focused heavily on your primary calling, being in relationship with God and receiving His love, how do we live out our secondary calling? Kevin and Kay Marie Brennfleck put it beautifully in their article, When You're Looking For A Calling, Not Just A Job, “The more diligently you are seeking to live your primary calling, the more effectively the Lord can guide you in finding your vocational calling.”
Your secondary calling, or vocation, is work that fits your gifts, brings a deep sense of purpose and significance, adds value to others’ lives, and gives you access to other humans to love and reflect Christ to.
Let’s get back to my story… Fast forward 2 ½ years later; I was a senior in college. Jesus had brought freedom, healing, and joy in so many areas of my life. He had given me peace, He had freed me from depression, He broke through negative thought patterns that were affecting my physical and mental health. He gave me lasting purpose!
I would be finishing my degree in marketing soon and I didn’t know what to do next. I enjoyed marketing, but my deepest passion and desire was to help others know about Jesus.
At that time, instead of asking, “Will I be a missionary?”, I asked myself, “Where will I be a missionary?” Jesus said “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18-20) This call, to make disciples, was for every Christ-follower moving forward. That means, we are all called to be missionaries.
“At that time, instead of asking, ‘Will I be a missionary?”, I asked myself, “Where will I be a missionary?’”
That doesn’t mean we are all called to go to other countries and raise money to be full-time vocational missionaries. It does mean that being a missionary was to be a part of every Christ-follower’s identity. No matter where we live or work, whether a company pays us or we raise our own salary, we are to be missionaries. That means, you can be a missionary as an accountant, a baker, or even a full-time mom if you see the people around you as people to love and share the good news of Jesus with.
By March of my senior year, I had sent out resumes, gone to job fairs and…I got no responses. I had no plans, which was not in my comfort zone, but God was helping me to trust Him! Someone suggested doing a program with Chi Alpha called the Campus Missionary in Training (CMiT) internship. I would be doing what others, like my friends and disciplers Sierra and Allison and many others in Chi Alpha, had done for me. My main role would be welcoming students into a Kingdom-focused community and discipling them as they grew in their faith. I didn’t originally want to do the CMiT because I imagined myself leaving Bloomington after college. But, my greatest desire was to help people know Jesus and doing the CMiT was one way I could do that.
After praying and talking with some trusted friends and family, I decided to do the internship. Most graduating college students don’t consider being a missionary after they’ve gotten a degree. But, I felt God leading me in that direction and I knew I could trust Him.
Following Jesus Involves Surrender
The more you experience God’s love, the more you can trust Him with your life. We often don’t want to give our life, our plans, or our future to God because we don’t believe He is good. We don’t think He wants to give us a good life, a life better than we can ever imagine. That doesn’t mean an easy or comfortable life, but a life filled with joy, adventure, peace, freedom, and purpose.
Deciding to be a missionary was not an easy decision because my family and friends from home had expected me to get a marketing job after college. My parents were not supportive of my decision and I valued their opinion so highly. I wanted to make them proud, but even more, I wanted to obey God. Those three years of college were filled with seeing His faithfulness time and time again, with love I had never experienced before, and with truth that led to real freedom. While I didn’t feel the pressure of the tightrope, that I had to pick the one right calling for me or I would ruin my future, I did feel God asking me to do the CMiT. He didn’t ask me because He needed me, but instead to grow my trust in Him. I could’ve chosen to do something different in that season and God would’ve loved me the same, but I wanted to say yes to Him because I had experienced so much of His goodness.
Through those five years as a campus missionary, I saw God provide for me financially, emotionally, and spiritually.
He brought many young women into my life for me to love and pour into. One of them was Mya (on the right) who became a lifelong friend. I still don’t even know all the ways being a Chi Alpha missionary has blessed my life and I’m so glad I said yes to God.
From Campus Ministry to Marketplace Ministry
From the moment I encountered the love of Christ and experienced the power of the Gospel, my life purpose has not changed. After deciding to do the CMiT with Chi Alpha, I stayed on as a full-time missionary for four more years.
One evening in March of 2022, as I closed my laptop after a Zoom call with my counselor, I thought, I think it’s time for me to leave Chi Alpha. Over the five years of being a full-time vocational missionary, I had grown immensely. Spending many hours of my days helping others know and follow Jesus had many challenges. There were times I wanted to pack up and do something easier, but I never felt peace about it, until this moment. I wasn’t leaving because I needed to escape hard things. I just felt God saying to me, “Lindsay, you’ve grown so much these past five years. Thank you for surrendering your life to me in this way. I’ve led you in what steps to take, like a parent with a little child, and now you have matured to a place where I trust you to make good decisions. You can choose. You can stay in Chi Alpha, and that will be good. Or you can do something different, and that will also be good.”
I prayed about that decision, talked to some close, trusted friends, and after a few weeks, I decided I wanted to do something else. God had been growing entrepreneurial dreams and visions in my heart. I was having a deeper passion for those in the business world to experience the love of Christ. And, I felt peace.
I ended up getting a job as a Marketing Strategist for a local Internet provider near my town. Being there for over six months now, I’ve learned and grown more than I expected. God has been teaching me how to trust Him in a new way because I have never “done ministry” in a business setting. I’m seeing how secular work, like providing Internet service, can be sacred (to learn more about that, check out John Mark Comer’s book, Garden City). While my days aren’t always exciting, they each have purpose because of my relationship with Christ, with how He is forming me more into His image through this job, and how I get to know and love many people made in His image.
“While my days aren’t always exciting, they each have purpose because of my relationship with Christ, with how He is forming me more into His image through this job, and how I get to know and love many people made in His image. ”
Wherever you are, in whatever season you are in, I encourage you: there is purpose. There is purpose because every opportunity, challenge, and success is a way Jesus wants to grow you closer to Him. There is purpose because as a Christ follower, the Holy Spirit lives in you and wants to work through you to bring light, joy, and hope to those in your life. There is purpose because Jesus is Lord and King and He has a mission He is fulfilling through us on this Earth until He comes back again. If you feel lost, run to Jesus, He isn’t far. Receive His love. Let that love guide you into trust that God is with you and is for you. Your calling is to be loved by God and to love Him and you can do that right now.
Questions for Reflection
Below are some questions you can ask yourself to live out your primary calling and discern your secondary calling in the season you are in.
How am I spending time regularly with God to continually be filled with His love?
How am I seeking first the kingdom where I am?
How am I loving the people God’s put in my life right now?
How am I using my gifts and talents for His glory?
What is my role in the Kingdom?
What people-group do I feel passionate about or drawn to?
What work do I feel passionate or excited for?
